I am injured. Yes, it’s true, I have sustained a bizarre injury in odd circumstances.
The more creative of you are probably thinking of hamsters, butter nut squash and parcel tape. Alas, we’re not talking about anything along those lines.
I have broken the little toe of my left foot. I achieved this feat following a run-in with our ironing board yesterday.
The odd thing is I wasn’t even using the ironing board at the time. It was simply in our living room, standing there, like a nervous, young debutante at her first formal dance, hoping that a male suitor would soon lead her on to the dancefloor.
There was absolutely no hope of me doing any ironing yesterday. The fact of the matter is that Mrs Adams was working from home. It was one of the few days of the week when our toddler was at nursery for the morning and I was immersed in blog stuff.
With my head in the virtual world and Mrs Adams at home, I had to do something, anything, to hint that I was on top of things on the domestic front. Leaving the ironing board in situ was a signal that some ironing might, just possibly, get done.
This was a mistake. Without giving it any thought whatsoever, I rushed into the living room at a quick pace with my head full of goodness knows what. I had nothing on my feet and wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings.
Bam! My left foot caught the leg of the ironing board. The ironing board was sent sprawling towards the floor and my wedding band flew off my finger in the resulting melee, making a distinctive tinkling sound as it hit the ground.
What followed was not pretty. I might have called the ironing board an exceptionally rude name. You know, like, a really very rude name indeed.
The next few minutes were spent either limping around the room trying to figure out how badly I was hurt or rolling around on the floor rubbing the lower half of my leg as pain coursed through it. As my wife commented later; “It must have been just like childbirth.”
Later that afternoon I turned up at my eldest daughter’s school. As luck would have it, we had an old crutch in the garage and I lurched into the school yard using this thing. As you can imagine I became an object of curiosity. People became even more curious when I explained exactly how I had sustained this injury. I mean come on, how many people have you met that have broken a bone following a brush with a relatively minor piece of domestic hardware?
During the course of today the pain has ebbed and flowed. The toe continued to swell and bruising has steadily engulfed the entire thing. In fact the bruising is spreading and making some headway up my foot.
I was repeatedly told I should go and get my foot looked at with considerable concern coming from the mums and dads in the playground (okay, several mums and one dad but the dad was very concerned for me nonetheless).
After today’s school run I made my way to the local hospital, my eldest daughter coming along for the journey. The practice nurse confirmed the inevitable; I had a break and the only thing that could be done was to strap the toe to the one next to it. It’ll take about six weeks to heal and I can expect to be in pain for the first seven days. Wish me luck.
What’s the weirdest injury you have sustained? How did you do it? Go on, leave a comment below and tell us what you did.
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