The other day I saw an article on Bable.com. It listed eight realities about being a stay at home dad.
Although the article was reasonably accurate, I never like it when people speak on my behalf. I therefore decided to make my own list. Without further ado, here are five things that may surprise you about the existence of us men who fulfil the traditionally female role of caregiver and home maker.
The attitudes of other men surprised me
When I gave up work I was convinced I would become the butt of jokes, especially from my male friends. Sure, I’ve had the occasional comment but, far from being seen as a joke, guys are usually curious to know more because it appeals to them.
Many men are absolutely desperate to spend more time with their children and families. I’ve been approached several times by guys of various ages telling me how much they wish they could do what I’m doing.
My kids haven’t even noticed that I’m their main carer
You might think my kids quiz me or ask why I always do the school run or why all their friends are looked after by their mums. Neither of my daughters has even questioned this.
I’ve had a few chats with them explaining they come from a “cool” family but it’s me that’s instigated these discussions. Helen and Izzy, however, have never asked.
I don’t miss the work environment
You might imagine I miss the work environment. The corporate jungle is wear us guys are meant to thrive, right?
You know what, I don’t miss it at all. My wife loves her work and she comes home every night and tells me about her day. It’s great to hear what she gets up to but it’s not for me.
Who knows, at some point in the future I may feel differently. Today, however, I am very happy to be based at home.
Oh, and as for the office Christmas party. They were kinda fun in my twenties. These days I don’t miss that annual gathering at all.
Not every mum wants to stay at home
Yes, I confess this item appears on the Babble list. When I saw it, it immediately shone out at me in blazing, bright, lights.
Mrs Adams simply does not have the mentality to do what I do. She’s great with the kids, but staying at home and doing the school runs etc., no, absolutely not her thing. It’s best left to me.
I have ears and opinions
Every now and again I find myself in some kind of situation with a group of mums. They know me, they know I am the main carer for my kids and therefore intensely interested in childcare, SATS, child nutrition, soft play etc.
I can find myself being totally ignored. I don’t think anyone is being nasty, they simply don’t appreciate that I am very interested in all these issues.
That said, I have to give a balanced view. I sometimes find myself in such environments and a mum says “oh thank goodness, a man to talk to!” So yeah, it seems even mums can get bored dealing with mums all the time.
That was a little window into my world
I hope that gives you a little insight into my existence. I’d be particularly interested to hear from stay at home mums. Are our existences very different? Can you relate to what I’ve written? If you have an opinion on what I’ve written or a question about stay at home fatherhood, please leave a comment below.