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About me

I’m John Adams and welcome to my award-winning blog. Since 2011 I’ve been the main carer for my two daughters and run the household while my wife has worked full-time. This blog tells our story. Follow this link to find out more about us.

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When you started secondary school, did you have to

When you started secondary school, did you have to deal with that ridiculous urban legend about the “blue fish?”

It went like this. An older kid asks a newly arrived youngster if they’ve ever seen a blue fish. If they say “no” the newbie’s head was supposedly flushed down the toilet.

It was complete and utter rubbish. Little did us new kids appreciate quite how much trouble someone would get into for such a horrible assault. Nonetheless, the story was enough to terrify us 11 year olds and I still have memories of an older kid asking me if I’d ever seen a blue fish and me heading off at speed in case I found myself being bundled towards the closest toilet cubicle.

This is just one of many things Year 7s need to know before they make the move to secondary school. I’ve spoken to the children of some close family friends and asked what they think parents of Year 7s and Year 7s themselves need to know before they start at school.

This is the time of year when many experts offer their advice, but I wanted to ask some youngsters themselves. I think their voice is often missing from this discussion.

The advice they gave was brilliant. Make sure your child has all the correct school supplies, help them pack each day for the first week as remembering everything is a massive leap, give them the independence to make their own way to school and don’t worry about making friends. You’ll find these and other first rate gems on the blog (link in bio).

Before you head over to the blog, leave me a comment. What do you remember from your first day at secondary school and what do you wish you had known beforehand?
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#backtoschool #startingschool #highschool #secondaryschool #secondaryschoolhacks #schoolhacks #bluefish #urbanlegends #dadlife #dadtribe #ukdadbloggers #pbloggers #selfie #blogger #dadinfluencer #influencer #rumours #dadbloguk #year7 #backtoschoolhacks #fish #education #schooling #instaeducation #mumlife #momlife #parenting #family #familytime #funpics

An ominous sight. Took this picture when we visite

An ominous sight. Took this picture when we visited the family a few days ago. It’s of Cotswold Airport near #Cirencester.

What you see here (...and out of shot) is a large collection of aircraft, some mothballed and simply being stored, others being broken apart for recycling. It was a bizarre sight and a reminder of the huge economic cost of lockdown (you may have read about BA retiring it’s 747 fleet as they’re no longer required).

That aside, it was the furthest we’d travelled as a family since March and wonderful to catch up with the extended family again.

Have you met up with family yet? With some lockdown restrictions being spoken about again, I’m glad we visited when we did.

Thanks also to @sarahmo3w for inspiring me to take this shot!
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#cotswolds #aviation #aircraft #airfield #sky #greysky #dadbloguk #influencer #dadinfluencer #dadblogger #canonpics #mysundayphoto #darrencoleshill #lockdownlife #lockdown #airliners #737 #747 #flying #transport #travel #outdoors #outside #location #visitengland #visitgloucestershire #visitwiltshire #Gloucestershire #wiltshire

My experience of fatherhood is radically different

My experience of fatherhood is radically different to most men’s. I’ve been my kids’ main carer for so long (10yrs) that I forget this. In fact I’m numb to the more challenging aspects & simply accept them as part of the life I’ve chosen.

The catalyst for my introspection is a book called ‘Sharing Care’ by @uniofsurrey researchers Rachel Brooks & Paul Hodkinson.

It shines a light on many issues I’ve highlighted on my blog over the years. In particular, I love the way they talk about involved fatherhood.

We’ve made massive progress accepting fathers as caregivers. We no longer ask “if” a man is going to be a hands on dad but “how” hands on he is going to be.

As Brooks & Hodkinson point out, however, there are still aspects of childcare that are usually mum’s responsibility. Of the fathers I know, very few of them take responsibility for doctor’s appointments, optician’s appointments, liaising with schools, organising play dates & so on. Weekend and evening childcare may be dad’s domain but kidmin, kin keeping & urgent family issues that crop up during work hours often fall on mum’s shoulders (the complete opposite in our household).

Social isolation is a further area Brooks and Hodkinson identify. This is top of my list of issues I’ve become numb to.

I long ago accepted my family will never have the social connections or support of a family where a mum leads on childcare (any men in same sex relationships care to share their experiences?).

Brooks and Hodkinson correctly say this is partly structural. My experience of NCT classes was that men were a ‘nice to have.’ Mums were encouraged to socialise and build up social networks which they frequently did. The result of this is the creation of tight, female-only friendship groups that usually tolerate care giving dads at best or are hostile to them at worst. Such attitudes continue at the school gate.

A great book & an insight in to my world!

#dads #parenting #dadlife #sahdlife #nct #equality #kinkeeping #kidmin #fatherhood #caregiving #carers #dadbloguk #isolation #socialisolation #mums #moms #dadtribe #introspection #reality #handsondad #gender #uniofsurrey #surrey #relationships #motherhood

If you have an interest in flexible working, you m

If you have an interest in flexible working, you may know this individual. It’s Dr Jasmine Kelland of @plymuni

Dr Kelland is a Human Resources specialist with a particular interest in how working culture impacts on men.
Along with other academics, Dr Kelland has been looking at the impact of the Coronavirus pandemic on work patterns and family life. Over on the blog (link in bio) she tells me all about it.

Apparently both mums and dads have enjoyed spending extra time with their children, families have been eating more healthily and nobody is missing the daily commute!

She has some@fascinating things to say. It’s well worth a read.
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#DrJasmineKelland #JasmineKelland #DrKelland #UniPlym #UniversityofPlymouth #humanresources #personel #training #management #genderequality #equality #workplaceequality #workingparents #workingmums #workingdads #workingculture #fatherhoodforfeit #motherhoodpenalty #remoteworking #flexiworking #flexibleworking #dadbloguk #influencer #blogger #dadblogger #dadinfluencer #academics #academic #coronatime #lockdownlife

I feel passionately that our children have been un

I feel passionately that our children have been underestimated during lockdown and while adjusting to the new normal. Children and young people have shown true grit over recent months. The one thing they cannot be accused of is being snowflakes.

Youngsters have shown enormous flexibility, tolerance, understanding, care and above all resilience. Naturally us mums and dads have been concerned about our children’s mental and emotional health, their wellbeing and the impact on their education.

We should all be concerned about these things, but I think the experience of living through these times means our kids will grow up with the most amazing, informal education. They’ve demonstrated wisdom and strength beyond their years and this shouldn’t be overlooked.

What do you think? Do you think it’s easy to underestimate the COVID Generation?

More on the blog (link in bio) but feel free to comment below.
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#family #schooling #lockdownlife #coronatime #strength #wisdom #snowflakes #snowflakegeneration #notsnowflakes #wellbeing #health #mentalhealth #resilience #tolerance #understanding #strong #dadbloguk #influencer #dadinfluencer #pbloggers #familytime #dadlife #momlife #mumlife #positivemindset #positivevibes #positivethoughts #tough #toughtimesdontlast #inspiration

The conditions when I took this picture were perfe

The conditions when I took this picture were perfect for reflections. It was taken a little while ago (pre-lockdown) when I was in London at the @nationaltheatre (night out without family!).

I hope it caught your eye when it appeared on your grid.

Full size image on the blog (link in bio).
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#southbank #nationaltheatre #london #londonscenes #mysundayphoto #londonstreets #reflection #reflections #canonpics #longexposure #dadbloguk #photofun #water #nighttime #longexposurephotography #shutterspeed #creative #creation #blogger #londonatnight #urbanscenes #urbanscene #brutalistarchitecture #riverthames #londonthames #purple #picsoftheday #camera

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