You probably don’t want to think about this too much, but us fathers that actively do childcare are receiving conflicting information about the size of our testicles. Yes, that’s right, looking after your children can apparently affect the size of your balls.
Last September, the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences published a report stating that men in my position have small testicles. At the time I couldn’t help tweeting Neil Sinclair, a former Commando and author of Commando Dad to ask if anyone had been brave / stupid enough to accuse him of being, ahem, a touch on the small size.
Neil was polite enough to respond and confirmed nobody had asked such a personal question. This is probably a good thing. If you’re going to ask a high-profile stay at home dad about their intimates, it’s probably best, for your own safety, to make sure they’ve never been part of an elite light infantry unit.
A couple of days ago, however, Miriam Gonzalez Durantez entered the Great Test Debate. The well-known lawyer and wife of Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, interrupted a speech her husband was giving to voice her opinion on this vital subject.
Mr Clegg was in mid flow (possibly a bad choice of words) giving a speech to a group of working parents about new parental leave rules the Government in planning to introduce. His wife is reported to have raised her hand, taken the microphone from him and delivered a strong defence of involved fathers before declaring that men who do the childcare and treat women as equals have “the most cojones.”
So there we have it. A medical research paper says men who are actively involved with their offspring should have small ones, while the deputy PM’s wife says men in such a position should have bigger ones. Vanity dictates I am siding with the Deputy First Lady. While I’d rather not be discussing testicles, if it gets people talking men and their roles in childcare then I’m all for it.
Of course there is also one very obvious point to make. If a man is doing the childcare, then regardless of the size of his testicles, there is an exceedingly good chance that he has actually put them to very good use.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to carry out some experiments in liquid displacement. If you’d be kind enough to pass me a large Pyrex beaker I’d be ever so grateful.
Like this? Well have a read of the twitter Q&A I did with Equalities Minister Jo Swinson last year about the new parental leave rules planned by the Government.
Pic one: Woodley Wonder Works
Pic two: Gerard Barrau
Both images reproduced under Creative Commons license.