As parents, we all spend huge amounts of time with our children. A question that’s been on my mind recently is how much of the time I spend with my kids is quality time?
It was this blog post on one of my favourite blogs Mumofthreeworld that got me thinking. In the post, Sarah, the author, admits she wants to continue driving her 12-year-old son to school because of the conversations they have during the journeys.
It was something I could really relate to. For some reason, the kids and I have had some of our most profound and serious chats while travelling from A-B.
My eldest daughter, Helen, has opened up about issues she’s had at school or told funny stories about what other kids have done. My youngest, Izzy, has told me in great detail about what goes on at her pre-school.
These moments don’t solely happen when in a car. I find quality experiences happen quite unexpectedly. It can come when playing a board game or when reading to the children. They also don’t always happen when we make the greatest effort to spend time with each other as a family.
Like most families we go to the trouble of taking the children out on trips to educate and entertain them. I, for instance, absolutely love taking the kids to visit the Natural History and Science Museums in London. The kids do get a lot out of these experiences, but is the time spent on these trips quality?
A big day trip up to London involves a lot of preparation. The kids needs constant reminding about road safety, they’ll repeatedly ask for sweets, forget to say please and thank you, need the toilet at an inconvenient moment etc. It’s all part of the day trip experience and can be tiring for mum and dad.
I think this is a different sort of quality experience. The kids learn to be independent, get exposed to different ideas, learn to ask questions, they learn to read, they get to see things they haven’t done before.
Real quality time, however, seems to just come naturally without major effort. It could happen in a car journey, on the kids’ trampoline in the garden or while going for a short walk around the block. I don’t think quality time, you know, the kind of moment you will remember forever, requires a huge amount of effort. I also think the children appreciate it when you simply stop what you’re doing, turn your phone off and sit down with them.
What do you think? Where do the precious moments take place with your family? Are they in the car and the kitchen or some exotic location? Please leave a comment below with your ideas.
15 thoughts on “Quality time with the children; when and where?”
Thanks very much for the mention! I’m very pleased to have got you thinking about this issue.
I think quality time often does happen at unexpected times, like in the car or on a walk. It’s the time when there are no other distractions and, like you say, you haven’t had to make a huge effort, which can leave everyone exhausted and stressed.
I’m a dad to be any day now and this will be something I can think about from day one been reading your blog for a little while now and had inspired me to start my own. Thesimplelifeofdad.WordPress.com
Il be sure to check out mum of three world to.
Thanks for commenting Mitchell. Good luck with the blog and fatherhood! I’ll take a look.
Completly agree John quality time is not something you need to plan. In my experiance like you I have found it just happens. The truth is for me every moment I spend with my children is quality time it’s simply just wonderful being a parent.
And it shows from your blog Nigel just how much you enjoy being a parent! The quality moments do just happen, they aren’t planned.
i conquer with you John, as parents we tend to plan or purpose to have quality time with our children like may be weekends or or when on leave, but i do agree with you that quality time comes unexpected. especially during drives to school,walk from church, when busy in the kitchen….. thanks for sharing this.
Interesting isn’t it? We all think we have to make grand gestures but that’s not necessary much of the time.
Love this John. Drafted something the other day (for blog that doesn’t exist yet!) on a half hour spent in the lounge bouncing on a plastic horse – which defo counted as quality time! Cheeky grins and giggles that are now imprinted đŸ™‚ X
Yeah, exacxtly the kind of experience I am talking about Jo. Cost you nothing yet made your little one very happy. Time really is a precious gift you can give.
A great post as it has really made me think! I am so quick to say not now to little geek and her sister that I need to take a step back more!
Working full time, the time I get to spend with them is limited especially with the travel as well, I often dedicate weekends to them (well the younger one as the 20 year old is too busy) but how often am I getting distracted!
More questions for myself than answers there…..
Oh yeah, we all get distracted. I purposefully leave my phone at home or switch it off these days.
Usually at bedtime as a stalling tactic!! She’ll have had hours to tell me about her day but funnily decides to tell me as I’m trying to tuck her up! #brillblogposts
Oh yes, I have seen this in other kids. Not somehting my kids generally do though. Thanks for commenting.
I find the teenager is much more likely to open up and actually talk while we are in the car. If we go out to lunch I have more luck with her also. I think its just a natural relaxing of her guard when there isn’t someplace for her to bolt off to #brilliantblogposts
Now that is a good point; being in a car or similar environment reduces the opportunities for the kids to run off. Hadn’t thought of it that way.