Clip Art didn't have any images of "plus size model" so here's an image of a "confident child".

Clip Art didn’t have any images of a “plus size model” so here’s an image of a “confident child”.

I was at a thought provoking round table discussion the other day. The discussion was about fathers and what they can do to promote healthy body image.

The event was hosted by the Equalities Minister Jo Swinson and I found myself in incredibly impressive company. In addition to the Minister there was a Cambridge professor and the founders and chief executives of several charities.

The nature of the discussion dictated that, with one exception, the participants were all male and most of us fathers. I won’t go into detail about what was said during the discussion but I picked up on something very quickly. Almost as soon as the conversation got underway, several of us dads admitted we hadn’t given much thought to body image issues. I’m afraid to say I was one of them.

My thoughts had been limited to the misogyny my two daughters will face. I believe there’s an insidious and creeping misogyny in the media and I’m very concerned about the increasingly sexualised images that my children will inevitably face as they grow up.

There’s an important point to be made here. I only have daughters but body image issues are increasingly affecting men and boys and we musn’t forget this. Indeed, one of the participants was from an organisation representing men with eating disorders.  

I came away from the meeting full of questions:

·         What can I do as a father to ensure my children are confident with their bodies?

·         What can I do as a father to ensure my daughters lead a healthy life?

·         Should my wife and I shield our children from misogynistic advertising and music videos?

·         At what age should we start speaking to them about these things?

·         Should we be speaking to our eldest already (she’s four)?

The point was rammed home to me yesterday when I drove past a primary school. Walking along the road was a young girl of around eight years of age in school uniform. She was being followed a few paces behind by a woman, presumably her mother, pushing a toddler in a pushchair.

To my amazement the young girl had a Playboy-branded satchel over her shoulder. I tried not to be judgemental but I found it desperately sad that a child so young could open to the influence of a brand that promotes sex and perfect bodies.

So tell me mums and dads, what do you do with your children to promote positive body image? Do you do anything? I’d be interested to hear.

 

May 13 – 18 is National Baby Massage Week. To mark the occasion, here’s an account of the five session course we recently completed.

A chance meeting at a product launch bought me in to contact with Mary Beattie of Baby and Child Massage UK. I’m a big believer in skin-to-skin between young children and their parents (yes, even with dad) and so I was keen to find out more about infant massage.

Baby and Massage UK runs a five-session long massage course and Mary kindly agreed to visit us at home and run through the course with my wife and I plus our baby, Elizabeth.IAIM face Our eldest daughter Helen also joined in, although I’m come on to her iinvolvement in a moment.

The sessions were supposed to last for five weeks. In reality the British weather, a car crash, a house move and a host of other complications meant our five session course was delivered over a period of about three months but the unflappable Mary took all the delays and complications in her stride. It also gave us more time to practice the various massage techniques.

A quick word about Mary. Mary is a Certified Infant Massage Instructor and Massage in Schools Practitioner. She teaches families, children and classes in London and surrey and studied under Sylvie Hétu, a former president of the International Association of Infant Massage who is widely credited for spreading infant massage across the world. 

During the course you learn a variety of strokes starting with the legs and feet and moving on to the stomach, chest, arms and hands, face and back. Many of the strokes will be familiar to anyone with a basic knowledge of adult massage.

Baby Elizabeth often laughs when she is massaged and there’s no doubt she enjoys herself. Although I thought she would enjoy the experience, I expected her to resist certain aspects, such as face massage. To my surprise, however, she has really taken to having her face massaged (it’s worth mentioning that face massage can help if you have a teething baby).

The only aspect that Elizabeth could be a little funny about was the back routine. She didn’t like lying on her front, which is the best position for massaging baby’s back. After a few attempts Elizabeth warmed to this and she is fine with it now.

The massage strokes are also a calming and relaxing influence on Elizabeth. She didn’t always make it through our sessions with Mary because she drifted off to sleep. When she did fall asleep, our sessions continued with one of the dolls that Mary bought with her.

As for our eldest (she’s four years old), I massaged her when she was in a very excitable mood to see what would happen. I say “excitable”, but I’m being very diplomatic; think crawling the walls. To my surprise it calmed her down and it was a huge help in getting her ready for bed.I’ve used the technique a number of times but just be advised there are some subtle difference between infant and child massage. 

Infant and child massage can also have a very positive impact on the youngster. In addition to helping with teething, it can help with colic, reduce stress, aid digestion, help the immune system and help sleep.

As a family we’ve thoroughly enjoyed the experience. We’ve all benefited from giving massage a go and it’s something we intend to stick with.

There are a whole host of baby massage specialists but you can find out more about Baby and Child Massage UK here.

This is an article I wrote for an old blog back in 2011. I stumbled across it on a USB stick the other day and rather liked it so here it is again, repeated for your pleasure.

chickenpoxThe little one fell asleep on me a few minutes ago. It was one of those serene parental moments that I love and I’m sure I’ll never forget.

You see poor little Helen has chickenpox. It’s been going round her nursery for weeks so it was only a matter of time before she got infected herself.

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I recently received an email asking for hints and tips about redesigning a child’s bedroom from a dad’s point of view.

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I’m a bit slow off the mark to comment on this subject, but I am wondering if the Government’s proposals for childcare might include a little nugget that we should applaud. Before I launch into this subject, let me make clear that I’m against plans to increase childcare ratios.

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New and Improved

John Adams —  May 13, 2013 — Leave a comment

Thanks for visiting the redesigned Dadbloguk.com!

This revamp has been on the cards for a while and so I’m delighted to present it to the world. Amongst other changes, you’ll see me making much better use of images and I’ve also expanded into the realm of product reviews and sponsored posts.

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Let me get straight to the point; what is the etiquette on drinking booze at a child’s party? Over the past few years I’ve been to quite a few parties with my children but it still baffles me.

I recently attended a birthday party where beer and wine had been laid on for the parents. To my amazement it was two hours before anyone cracked and had a drink (no, it wasn’t me!). This led me to question whether we all have some kind of collective children’s party booze guilt.

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You’re about to be a dad? Congratulations, life is about to change in many ways.

You’re probably wondering what to expect in the delivery room. I could also take a very good guess that you’re nervous, anxious and quite possibly terrified.

What I’ve written here is based solely on my personal experiences in the delivery room. I’m sure a midwife could impart all manner of great advice, but this is what I have seen and dealt with on the two occasions I’ve seen my wife give birth.

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In case you missed it, I took part in a live twitter interview with Employment relations Minister Jo Swinson.

The Q&A, which was held on 5 February, coincided with the publication of the Children and Families Bill. Amongst other things the Bill includes:

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I’m delighted to reveal that I will be taking part in a twitter Q&A with Employment Relations Minister Jo Swinson.

The subject of the Q&A will be shared parental leave and this event will take place on Tuesday, 5 February at 2.30pm. To follow the Q&A, follow the hashtag #parents and the twitter accounts @bisgovuk and @dadbloguk.

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