My daughter’s recently started school and so have the children of many of our friends. Not surprisingly, conversation with our peers has frequently drifted to the subject of school, the differences between various schools, how our children are getting along and so on.
Listening to all these conversations has made me wonder if schools might benefit if there was greater involvement from fathers. The comments I hear from friends generally revolve around what “mums” are doing, meet and greet sessions that have been set up for “mums” and so on.
To state the obvious, men are generally at a disadvantage when it comes to getting involved with school life because the overwhelming majority of them work office hours. They can’t volunteer during the working week and many struggle to do the collection and drop off at either end of the day so meeting the teachers and other parents can be difficult.
That said, the other day I took part in a school ‘clear up’ day. It was held at the weekend and parents were invited to help tidy up the grounds after the summer break. It attracted a large number of committed dads who enthusiastically gave up a few hours to do their bit for the school. All of them seemed to be very happy to be involved.
It got me wondering why more isn’t done to encourage men to get involved in school life? It strikes me there’s a huge amount of goodwill, skills and expertise that remains untapped because men either can’t get involved with their child’s school or won’t because they don’t, as men, feel welcome.
The lack of male involvement on Parent Teacher Association (PTA) committees also baffles me. Men are, without a doubt, partly to blame for their lack of representation on PTAs, but could PTA’s do more to appeal to them?
I’m not a huge fan of segregating the genders, but an occasional dads social evening might prove very popular, yet I’ve never heard of a school or PTA organising one. I have, however, heard of similar events being organised for mums (I should add that’s not a reference to my daughter’s school). If anyone has heard of such an event being organised for dads then please let me know, I’d be delighted to be proved wrong.
What do you think, would schools benefit from more involvement from fathers and how involved are dads in your child’s school? Do you think fathers are at a disadvantage when it comes to getting involved in school life? Alternatively, is the lack of involvement from dads their own fault?
8 thoughts on “Sending dad back to school”
I think it would be great to see more dads getting involved, but working hours make it difficult. Working mums are at a disadvantage too. I’m a school governor and that’s the one area where you do see more men, but in the end the pressure of work usually gets to them. I have yet to see a dad make it to the end of his term of office.
That’s a very good point you make about working mums, they’ll face exactly the same pressures at working dads.
Interestingly, I was a school governor and lasted a year. I would have lasted longer but I moved away from the area. You obviously need men on the governing body but I personally wish more would volunteer for the PTA also. I think the PTA would benefit form a better balance.
It’s a shame more dads aren’t actively involved where we are many inc my husband work in London not arriving home until 7pm at the earliest so makes it very tricky many meeting so far have started at 7pm so he’s managed to leave early he’s lucky that he can be slightly flexible. There were lots of dads at the first mtg but hardly any at the reading and phonics one which is very imp, next wk parents evening 3.30-6 one night and 3.30-8 one night the 7-8 slots filled up first luckily I got one but also it’s childcare needing someone to look after children whilst we are there again luckily my in laws are close-ish an hr away and retired so can help out…not everyone has that help or flexibility. I think it’s very important as does he that he attends but not all parents have the same attitude.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard the comment about parents evening being organised at a time when both paretns can’t attend. Tricky, because we can’t forget that teachers have families too!
You’re tight about the attitude; not every family thinks it is important for both parents to get involved with the school (or indeed, neither of them show any interest in getting involved). I’d like to think this was only a small minority of people.
At PTAsocial we know of a number of schools where Dads have been actively recruited. A male PTA Chair – whilst quite rare – really helps. Weekend ‘clear ups’ of grounds (as you mentioned) are often successful as are ‘help wanted’ for things such as scenery construction and outside equipment maintenance.
On the social side, schools with active Dads who organise ‘pub and curry’ nights or a Dad’s cricket/football team can often see a huge increase in participation, especially if some of the teachers join in. It’s hard not to fall into gender stereotypes of mums’ coffees and dads’ pub nights but at the end of the day – it’s designed to fit in with and appeal to the majority. Until employers start offering more flexible working arrangements for both sexes, events for the Dads will tend to be held in the evenings.
Online volunteering helps get working parents involved and engaged too of course! There are plenty of way for them to help, especially with sponsorship contacts, sourcing raffle prizes etc.
However it’s time for out-of-the-box thinking. Our recent blog about Cavendish Primary in Manchester talked about how – inspired by one of the Dads – they put on their own music festival ‘CavFest’ raising over £12000 in one day! Now that’s real involvement – with no gender issues.
Thanks for a very informative and incredibly positive comment! It’s great to hear of examples of where dads have engaged with their school’s PTA and been encouraged to get involved with school life. I said I was happy to be proved wrong and I think you’ve achieved it.
I appreciate what you say about falling into stereotypes of coffee for the mums and curry for the dads. It’s perhaps not ideal, but if it works and gets both mums and dads involved with the PTA and wider school life then why not?
Some thoughts from the coal face: I live in a provincial town where the school’s male staff is virtually nil and active dads mostly keep their heads down. I may have ruffled some feathers with my presence but have also made many friends and earned respect from the females involved. In my time I have been PTA Secretary then Chair and have organised major events both by myself and by managing a room full of mums. The school bit my hand off when I offered to help with reading every week and made their appreciation very clear. That said, there are still some who look at me with narrowed eyes. My approach has always been to be polite and start slowly but to not take any sh*t. I believe that being confident but not overbearing is also critical, and never to show weakness or think that a dad shouldn’t be there. I’m fortunate to be a SAHD with the time and inclination to get involved and hopefully make a change in my part of the world.
It’s past my bedtime and i need to be on top of my game tomorrow. It’s the school’s annual fete and I’m partly organising the BBQ (how predictable).
Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a first rate comment!