The Playground Clothing BANNED list

clothes, playground, appropriate

The other day I was driving through a nearby village at about nine in the morning. Casually strolling along the pavement was a mum taking a child to school.

Call me old fashioned, but I was slightly perturbed at her choice of clothing. She was wearing swimming costume bottoms, a crop top, sandals and nothing else. We’re all familiar with the phrase if you’ve got it flaunt it, but I’m not sure this should stretch as far as the school gate (or any nearby streets). It just seemed a bit, well, inappropriate.

It got me thinking about what adults should and should not wear in the playground. I’ve produced a list of items that I think us mums, dads and carers should probably avoid. I challenge you to have a read and make some suggestions yourself.

• Men’s leggings (weird)
• Skinny jeans (impractical if looking after young children)
• Hot pants (weird, but I’ve seen men try and pull this look off)
• Vest tops (just, no)
• Tank tops (as above)
• Anything PVC or rubberised (no explanation needed)
• Coldplay tee shirts (no, you don’t look cool)
• Cuban heels (there’s a time and a place, it’s not the playground)
• Crocs (my blood is running cold)

• Swimming costumes (you may have an amazing tattoo to show off, but no, just don’t)
• Any heels over four inches (health and safety risk)
• Uggs (should be outlawed)
• Cheap Ugg boot copies (should also be outlawed)
• Coldplay tee shirts (consciously de-coupled, I mean, really?)
• Anything PVC or rubberised (no explanation needed)
• Hot pants (just wrong)
• Daisy Dukes (there’s a story to tell here, but this blog is not the correct place).

Over to you, what articles of clothing do you think should be left at home?

Photo credit: Paul Vlaar. Reproduced under Creative Commons agreement.

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  1. June 27, 2014 / 9:49 am

    You neglected to mention pyjamas!!

    Errr I like my crocs. A lot.

    • John Adams
      June 28, 2014 / 5:38 pm

      Pyjamas are definitely a no no. As for Crocs, we’ll have to agree to disagree….sorry.

  2. June 27, 2014 / 9:52 am

    Sleepwear! I know some tops and bottoms look decent but no, just don’t.

    • John Adams
      June 28, 2014 / 5:37 pm

      I sometimes see people in what looks suspiciously like sleepwear. I agree it does not look good at all.

    • John Adams
      June 28, 2014 / 5:36 pm

      Quite agree, thongs should be banned.

  3. June 28, 2014 / 8:50 am

    Dressing gowns and slippers.

    I’m sad to say I have seen this.

    • John Adams
      June 28, 2014 / 5:35 pm

      Seriously? That’s very odd indeed.

    • John Adams
      June 28, 2014 / 5:34 pm

      Oh not you as well?

  4. Mama Blueberry
    November 21, 2014 / 10:56 am

    Oh No! Wish I’d have read this before the school run. I’ve just returned home in my hotpants, uggs copies and pvc rain mac with a photo of Chris Martin printed on the back. Sigh! I bet when I go back this afternoon they are all wearing it. Nothing like starting a new trend!

  5. November 21, 2014 / 11:06 am

    Flip flops – for practical reasons and the fact I generally don’t like feet. I’ve seen a mother fall over in the playground trying to run after her errant child and tripping over her flip flops. I’ve also witnessed a car crash when a woman’s foot slipped off the brake pedal because she was wearing flip flops.

  6. November 21, 2014 / 1:47 pm

    Lol this had me gasping with shock about the woman in her swimmers until I realised it was from June! Even still, a big no-no. However, pleeeeeeaaaase don’t ban my comfy snuggly Ugg boots, or I will hold my breath until I turn blue.

  7. November 21, 2014 / 1:56 pm

    Short dresses. Those ladies be crazy! They bend over and… well I don’t need to tell you the rest.
    Found you on #TheList

  8. November 23, 2014 / 8:53 pm

    I am so glad I am not the only one who hates Crocs! Great post and thanks for linking up to #TheList x

  9. Adam
    June 22, 2017 / 7:02 pm

    You’ve just described my kids’ school playground + pyjamas and rollers in hair. I feel like a massive snob because I always come across twitching.