Five ways you can tell I’m a stay at home dad

Brad Pitt, stay at home dad

It turns out I have a lot in common with Brad Pitt. He’s a (sometime) stay at home dad, has facial hair and has been photographed wearing trainers. We’re practically brothers. Pic credit below.

I recently read this post on the Sunshine Dad blog about ways you could tell he was a stay at home dad (SAHD). Inspired by his list, I’ve had a go at writing one myself.

Here are five ways you can tell I am a SAHD just like Brad Pitt*;

Suntan
Yes, this is possibly an unexpected entry, but the summer of 2015 has been a surprisingly good one. I have spent so much time outside with the kids I’ve built up a very impressive sun tan. As a resident of the British Isles I suspect this will be the one and only time I can make such a claim. I am, therefore, going to seize the opportunity.

Facial hair

This also appeared on Sunshine Dad’s list, albeit under the heading I have a beard, which doesn’t quite apply to me. I used to be clean shaven. After the arrival of baby number two, I fell into the habit of keeping the stubble on my face to about 3mm in length. It was quicker, easier and didn’t look too bad.

Mrs Adams told me stubble suited me. She has become so used to the look I get complaints when I have no hair on my face. Some readers will be aware that I recently grew a beard. To my surprise I conceded that it suited me…a lot. I don’t, however, like the beard look enough to keep it full-time.

I can be scatter-brained.
This usually manifests itself when grocery shopping, especially when in charge of both children. In these circumstances they will repeatedly interrupt my train of thought and so the shopping goes awry. I understand why this happens. The kids are bored and so they misbehave and play up causing me to forget things.

It’s not unheard of for me to buy everything on the shopping list apart from a vital ingredient for a meal I’ve promised to make. You know, I’ll buy shoe polish, cling film and apples but forget to buy risotto rice after having said I’ll make chicken risotto.

This often leads to sharp words from Mrs Adams when we end up eating fish fingers because there’s nothing else in the house. Although I’m in the wrong, I’m generally unsympathetic and point out that she goes grocery shopping with both children about, what, oooh, once every 400 years?

I am the family’s social secretary
Many people make the mistake of speaking to my wife when trying to arrange social engagements. They assume that, because she’s a woman, she’s responsible for such matters. Although the family calendar hanging on the kitchen wall is a collective effort between my wife and I, I am the one who polices and enforces it. I may be scatter-brained, but I am the only member of this family who has any idea where we’ll be at a given date over the next 12 months.

Forgive me, but I’m going to get serious for a moment. Once upon a long time ago, I worked for the charity Age Concern England (ACE). This organisation, which has subsequently merged with Help the Aged to create Age UK, campaigned for the rights of older people.

ACE conducted an interesting study into male social isolation and unearthed a problem with older men who, throughout their married lives, relied on their wives to make all social arrangements. It was found this was quite common among many couples. If the wife died first, however, the widower was often left leading a very lonely existence having lost the confidence to arrange to meet friends or even know how to go about asking people to meet socially. I’ll just leave that thought hanging in case you see this as a potential risk in your own relationship…

Shoes
This is something else I share with Sunshine Dad, although for different reasons. Prior to having children, I refused to wear trainers in public unless I was running. I just thought they looked far too casual.

When my first daughter was born, I invested in a pair of Merrell trainers and these instantly became known as my ‘dad shoes’. I now own a few different pairs of trainers from different brands and have even learned to love deck shoes for their smart/casual look. Deck shoes can also be slipped on and off at speed, which is useful if you’re a dad at soft play / swimming pool / about to dash out of the door on the school run. While I’m still a bit fussy about where and when I wear trainers and deck shoes, they are now a part of my day-to-day attire.

I can think of many other ways you can tell I’m a stay at home parent. I’ll leave it there for now, but do leave a comment below telling me what you think. Are you a stay at home mum? Would your list be any different (save for the point about facial hair)? Stay at home dads, do you relate to this list?

*Okay, Brad Pitt isn’t strictly speaking a stay at home dad, but he does take over main caring responsibilities when Angelina Jolie is off filming and vice versa.

Pic credit; SpreePix from Budapest. Reproduced under Creative Commons agreement.


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44 Comments

  1. August 18, 2015 / 3:34 am

    ha! I love it! Great list. The tan was a great point. I’d love to hear from a few moms about how you can spot them 🙂

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:25 am

      I’d love to hear from some more mums too. Thus far, they seem to be in agreement, apart from facial hair.

  2. August 18, 2015 / 6:59 am

    Tehe great list 🙂 it’s amazing how things just slightly slack a bit looking after kids. Love your point on hubby’s making more arrangements! I say this to mine all the time ! Xx #thetruthabout

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:25 am

      Glad you liked the list. The one hting I no longer slack on is clothes. I’ve seen so many mums and dads stop looking after themselves once kids come along and I think it’s rather sad. It was different when our two were bottle feeding though, I lived in black Primark tee shirts. Keep working on your husband, he needs to keep those social skills.

  3. August 18, 2015 / 8:34 am

    Just like Brad Pitt. Love it. #thetruthabout

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:23 am

      It’s true, I am JUST like Brad Pitt. The only diffrence being I’m married to one of the world’s most beautiful women.

  4. Mirjam
    August 18, 2015 / 11:45 am

    Agree with all of the above except as you mentioned the facial hair!!
    Which I would replace with having your hair tight together in a bun or ponytail constantly instead of wearing them open, if not they are in your way constantly !
    Something a never did before having children…
    My arms and face are tan all summer long, I forget always the most important food at the supermarket, have about 4 pairs of sneakers, I am the only one who knows the schedule by hart at least 1 year ahead!!!
    🙂

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:22 am

      Wow Mirjam, it’s like we’re brother and sister or something!

  5. August 18, 2015 / 12:57 pm

    Fun list! It seems you have not yet embraced the most comfortable footwear possible.

    Sandals. and socks.

    You don’t know comfort until then 🙂

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:20 am

      Sandals and socks? Good grief no. I’d rather eat my own head.

  6. August 18, 2015 / 6:51 pm

    You just needs some aviator sunglasses now John. The thing in the shop, where they distract you incessantly? Yep that one is the reason why I now do all my shopping online. I would say the contents of my bag also kind of demonstrate I’m a hands on parent (not necessarily a stay at home one) – there have been times when I’ve been looking for a pen in my bag at work and pulled out a dummy… Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:20 am

      They’d need to be proper aviator siun glasses from Rayban. Perhaps I could keep them in the changing bag?

  7. August 18, 2015 / 10:07 pm

    Great post ???? #wineandboobs

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:17 am

      Thanks for visiting and commenting Gianna. Glad you liked it.

  8. Nige Higgins
    August 19, 2015 / 5:13 pm

    Great list ha!ha! We have so much in common with the rich and famous great read

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 20, 2015 / 5:13 am

      I like to think it’s the other way round Nigel; the rich and famous have muhc in common with us! Thanks for commenting, glad you liked the post.

  9. August 20, 2015 / 7:02 am

    Brilliant but sad the beard didn’t stay, really, really suited you, can’t you tell your real wife that your blog wife likes beards…;) Nice view of Brad this morning too, thanks!

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 21, 2015 / 8:45 am

      I will pass your message on to Gill! thanks for hosting #BrilliantBlogPosts

  10. August 20, 2015 / 7:15 am

    I’ll be trying to spot all of the SAHD’s now when out & about. Must say though, I work part-time and I’ve actually got a little tan this Summer, at least the kids force you to get outside and not lay about all day watching re-runs of Jeremy Kyle (I don’t do that really..). #brillblogposts

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 21, 2015 / 8:44 am

      Oh gosh, Jeremy Kyle. Thankfully 1i have no time for such frivolities!

  11. August 20, 2015 / 7:50 am

    Haha! My boy was encouraged to grow his facial hair too!!! He’s not a SAHD but as he’s the boss he can *just about* get away with it!! 🙂 Happily, he DOES like it too!! So the beard stays! Hurrah! 🙂 #BrillBlogPosts

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 21, 2015 / 8:44 am

      Clearly you’re something of a pongophile! Just as well I guess.

  12. August 20, 2015 / 9:42 am

    Thankfully my wife who is a stay at home mum is low on facial hair. She lives in flip flops rather than trainers but I’d say the rest is pretty applicable.

    #brilliantblogposts

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 21, 2015 / 8:43 am

      Well, you are in Thailand so flip flops are probably the equivalent.

  13. August 20, 2015 / 12:27 pm

    Hahaha! Are you really Brads bro? 😉 My daddy wears trainers and has a beard too but he can get away with it at work! #brilliantblogposts

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 21, 2015 / 8:43 am

      Well, I’ll happily pass myself off as Brad’s brother. You saying he’s not as good looking as me??

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 21, 2015 / 8:42 am

      Glad you liked the list. Thanks for commenting.

  14. August 22, 2015 / 8:25 am

    Suntan????? We have had two half days of sunshine here so far and that is it 🙁 #bigfatlinky

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 23, 2015 / 6:15 am

      Yes, I genuinely have a sun tan….and even if I say so myself, a very good one.

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 23, 2015 / 6:13 am

      Glad you enjoyed it! It was fun to write.

  15. August 23, 2015 / 2:31 pm

    Note to self – photo of Brad Pitt is a really great way to get people to read a post 🙂 #bigfatlinky

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 26, 2015 / 6:53 am

      Yes, that’s why I stuck his image at the top!

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 26, 2015 / 6:51 am

      The beard has gone, but it may well come back another time.

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 26, 2015 / 6:49 am

      Glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting and do come again.

  16. August 27, 2015 / 10:53 am

    Somehow I managed to miss the whole of the summer hence why I am a nice tone of white! boo! Def keep the beard, everyone loves them! 🙂 xx #Brilliantblogposts

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 28, 2015 / 5:17 am

      The beard is in fact making a slow, steady return.

  17. August 27, 2015 / 1:34 pm

    Great list! I do have a pretty good tan though… I like swimming against the tide! #bigfatlinky

    • John Adams
      Author
      August 28, 2015 / 5:16 am

      Swimming against the tide…yes, yes, I’ve done a lot of that at the beach recently! Explains much of the tan as it happens.