As I was on the school run this morning I was able to tick off a list of “good parenting” attributes. My children were happy. They were in ironed, clean clothes and had just eaten a breakfast featuring the main food groups. Their teeth had been vigorously brushed and I was in the throes of planning an exciting play date for Helen, my eldest daughter (who is six).
As we neared the school, it all fell apart. You see I had absolutely no recollection of brushing Helen’s hair. I turned to my left and caught a glimpse of her. Sure enough, her hair was messy and hadn’t been tied back into a pony tail, the way she generally wears it these days (and the way her school expects long hair to be kept).
Toddler Adams, you see, had fallen over and grazed her knees just as we were about to leave the house. This necessitated the application of Savlon and plasters, breaking my train of thought and leading to me forget about her older sister’s hair.
I explained to Helen that I’d made a mistake. Even though I was making no attempt to dodge the blame for this calamity, she helpfully said; “but you didn’t remind me to brush my hair.”
Thanks Helen. You just rub it in.
At this stage, I wasn’t panicking. Our car is horrendously untidy. Want to eat fish and chips dating back to that visit to Lyme Regis in, oh, when was it, 2013? Take a look beneath the driver’s seat. Looking for an old Nokia 3310 mobile phone? Check under your back side, you’re probably sitting on one.
Okay, I exaggerate, but you get the picture. One of the most common items to be found littering the vehicle are discarded hair bands. They’re usually everywhere; on seats, under seats, in glove compartments, in the boot, in the foot wells…everywhere.
With my children on the pavement I began ripping the car apart to see what I could find. At first I couldn’t find anything. Eventually I came across a glittery, silver number. This wasn’t school uniform compliant but, hey, it was the best I could do.
Using my hands I vaguely combed Helen’s hair and put it into a pony tail. Before I’d finished, the hair band snapped. This wasn’t going well.
There was nothing else for it. I put a sun hat on Helen’s head and said she’d have to wear it during play time. If her teacher questioned the unkempt nature of her hair, well she was to explain it was all her father’s fault.
More to the point ‘though, where do those hair bands go? I buy them in huge numbers but they vanish with incredible speed. I have previously put spares in Helen’s school bag for these very occasions but they simply disappear, never to be see again.
Is there some kind of hair band vortex they fall into? Do they have some kind of self-destruct mechanism? Do they simply biodegrade at an astonishing rate? I’d love to know because even on mornings when I remember to brush Helen’s hair (which is pretty much all of them) I often struggle to find a hair band for her.
Can you relate to this? Do hair bands simply vanish in your household? Do you regularly forget to brush your child’s hair first thing in the morning? Please leave a comment below, I’d be fascinated to hear your experiences.